Divas and Other Demons

I’m not sure what it is about Los Angeles that causes this phenomenon. Perhaps it is the almost constant sunshine. Or maybe it is the ever-present entertainment industry. Even still, it could be something as simple as its world famous traffic. Whatever the reason, L.A. seems to breed “diva-tude.”

Being a native to Los Angeles, I have witnessed this anomaly numerous times and in various places. Those men and women affected by “diva-tude” are self –centered, selfish, and self-absorbed. Dealing with divas has been an unfortunate reality for most of my adult life. No matter what job I have had, “diva-tude” was a constant. I worked at Starbucks for nine years and caffeine jonesing divas were a daily component of my job. Along with steaming milk, pulling shots, and making drinks, I had the pleasure of waiting on the public. And I survived…barely. People are an interesting breed to say the least. When it comes to something as simple as a coffee beverage, an error can send the kindest individual into a child-like hissy fit. Demands of certain milk temperatures, syrup amounts, and espresso strength, would often send me into thoughts of hermitage. At times, I wanted to scream, “it’s just freakin’ coffee people!” But my better judgment prevailed more often then not. Luckily, I worked with a group of awesome and talented individuals. Together, with our senses of humor as armor, we battled the oppressive coffee prima donnas.

My best friend Curtis taught me many tricks of the trade during our stint together at “the Bucks.” He was like our customer service oracle. Here are a couple of helpful hints from Curtis C: 1) if you forget or don’t know someone’s name, address them with a big smile and a “honey,” “Ms. Thang,” “my dear,” anything that is a term of endearment. This will just make them feel good, feel remembered, and keep them calm. 2) Kill them with kindness. It SO works. I mean how can someone be jerky if you are super sweet? Only the biggest a-holes can reject a soothing voice and a welcoming smile. 3) If you’ve tried everything in your arsenal of kindness but they continue serving up “diva-tude,” then give it right back to them ten-fold. Luckily I didn’t have to resort to giving “diva-tude” too often. I was still a novice on the subject, but Curtis was a “diva-tude” specialist and part-time diva himself. He would only take so much from the masses we encountered daily and if someone pushed too far, it was war. Suffice it to say, Curtis always won and the shattered individuals limped away with broken heels and deflated egos. It almost made me feel sorry for them.

I took those principles I learned from Curtis during my coffee slinging days to the studios where I currently work. . As I have mentioned in a previous entry, I work in the entertainment field. This profession, in particular, seems to generate “diva-tude” at an alarming rate. Just when you think you know someone, it strikes. Maybe it’s a certain outfit they’re wearing, or a hairstyle they don’t like, or a line of dialogue that sets it off. No matter the cause, when this “diva-tude” manifests, it is anything but pretty. Recently, I encountered a diva episode and it boggled my mind. “Diva-tude” makes people look stupid: plain and simple. This attack was vicious, nasty, and unnecessary. At that moment, this beautiful individual who has always been liked, transformed into a heinous, disagreeable, banshee. Thankfully, it was a brief episode that quickly passed. Although most exhibit these classic symptoms, there is another type of diva that flies under the radar. Screaming and confronting isn’t their style, they just simply ignore you. This type has an odd sense of entitlement. Your existence in their world is unimportant to them: basically you are invisible. So no matter how much kindness or smiles you give them, it’s a lost cause. Simply, they have no time for you. They have deleted you from their memory bank. In some ways they are the worst offenders because they don’t react at all: be wary of the quiet ones.

To me, “diva-tude” is a blaring sign of someone’s insecurity. Being vicious, vindictive, and venomous is unwarranted. No one deserves that kind of treatment. Somehow, somewhere, in some way, these unfortunate souls have forgotten the classic and relevant philosophy of the Golden Rule: do unto others. Perhaps they should revisit this simple idea? It’s just a thought. Until then, remember, it’s never you it’s always them: Diva happens.